Foster Adoption Success Stories

Attachment & Trauma Network's Nov/Dec 2010 Hoofbeats Newsletter

2010-12-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

As a special holiday gift, the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN) has made this issue of its bi-monthly newsletter, Hoofbeats, available to both ATN members and non-members alike.

Included in this issue is a discussion of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute's recent policy report Keeping the Promises: The Critical Need for Post-Adoption Services to Enable Children and Families to Succeed.

The issue also features confidential but honest responses provided by experienced ATN members regarding their current attitudes and feelings about adoption, with a consensus that those considering foster and international adoption must become as informed as possible prior to making this lifelong commitment.

http://www.radzebra.org/newsletters/10%20Nov-Decfinal.pdf?utm_content=michelle%40planbeventsandpromotions.com&utm_source=VerticalResponse&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=Click%20Here&utm_campaign=Sharing%20the%20Gift%20of%20Hoofbeats%20With%20Youcontent

To receive future issues of Hoofbeats, join the ATN at http://www.radzebra.org/Join.htm.

Why We Adopted a Teenager

2010-12-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

This article was written by Kim Johnson, supervisor of adoptions services for Partnership for Strong Families of Gainesville. It has been copied from The Gainseville Sun's website, where it was published on Monday, November 22, 2010.

If you had asked me before today about adopting a teen, I would have said it was because I work in the child welfare system and too many teens go from painful childhoods to aging out of foster care and living on their own without the opportunity to be kids.

It was my answer because I believed it, until November 12th.

Robert captured my heart when I saw him on the adoption websites (www.adoptfl.org and www.adoptuskids.org) in April. We hadn't planned to adopt, as our hands were full with two little ones and a home without adequate space for another child. Robert's picture went on our refrigerator nonetheless and our steps toward adopting progressed.

The months leading up to his finalization were heartfelt to say the least. The more we learned about Robert, the more we loved him.

He encompasses all the things you could wish for in a young adult, but oftentimes fleeting in a teen. He is considerate, helpful, respectful, kind-hearted, playful, cheerful, a peacekeeper and a faithful companion.

Robert's enthusiasm and charismatic smile can light up a room and has brightened our home every single day since his arrival. He embodies the concept of resiliency more than anyone I've known and in that challenges me to find reasons to be grateful in all circumstances.

There were many reasons my heart had already grown to appreciate the transformation of our family, but the magnitude of what was at hand saved itself for delivery on finalization day.

It's difficult to put into words what a mother feels sitting in an adoption finalization and hearing the judge call it "a celebration of an additional birthday to be celebrated, a new child has entered the family."

Having had a biological daughter and son, I can testify that the emotions elicited are nothing short of being handed your newborn the first time. An adoptive mother spoke before our finalization, she believes each time a child's biological parent is unable to care for them, there is another person or family especially purposed to parent them.

On that day, November 12th, I realized that while I thought we made a decision to fill a need, instead I received a gift of a son, particularly tailored for my heart.

With feelings of completion and joy as we finalized, I now see, that just as the birth of a child is a miracle, the adoption of a child is just as miraculous.

My answer today is a new one. We adopted a teen because something in me knew, before I knew, that our family was missing Robert.

It's confirmed daily as I see the smiling faces of our two little ones as they all play. It's confirmed as I feel my own overwhelming gratitude that, despite Robert coming so far and through so much, he was somehow positioned in the perfect place at the perfect time for us.

We adopted a teen because our lives were missing Robert, and our family was blessed on November 12th to receive a miracle.

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute Internship Opportunity for Young Adults Who are Former Foster Children

2010-11-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

Copied from an 11/2/10 North American Council on Adoptable Children(www.nacac.org) e-mail:

The Foster Youth Internship Program of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) is for young adults who spent at least 24 consecutive months in foster care at any point in their life and who have completed at least four semesters of higher education by May 31, 2011. CCAI places these interns in Congressional offices in Washington, DC for a 9-week internship program.

Housing, travel, and a weekly stipend are provided by CCAI. Applications are accepted now until January 7, 2011. The program will run May 31-July 30, 2011. The goal of the program is to educate policymakers about the experiences of foster youth in an effort to inspire legislative improvements for foster care. Interns participating in this program benefit both personally and professionally, gaining experience and skills that will bolster their careers for years to come. If you are unfamiliar with the program, please watch a short video to learn more about this unique experience: http://vimeo.com/16060742. For more information and to apply, visit www.ccainstitute.org/fyiapply or contact Emily Collins at Emily@ccainstitute.org
or 202-544-8500.

Loving God's Children Adoption and Orphan Care Ministry Upcoming Walk for Orphans

2010-11-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

Copied from http://www.lovinggodschildren.blogspot.com/

Loving God's Children is proud to announce our first walk for orphans. The Walk Home - will be a family friendly event that takes place on Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 9:30am. We will start on Pauls Street at the beginning of the Brandon Parkway and walk one and a half miles to the Brandon Town Center mall.

If you are interested in joining the walk or just sponsoring someone, please contact us at gsloan@lovinggodschildren.org,

For those of you that do not live in the area, please feel free to get sponsors for the walk and walk a mile and a half in your own neighborhood or local park.

We appreciate your support!

Sylvia Thomas Center Adoption Support Group November Meeting Topic: "The Real Me: Documenting Your Child's Story in a Lifebook"

2010-11-08T10:12:00.000-08:00

What: Sylvia Thomas Center's November Adoption Support Group Meeting
When: Thursday, November 11th, 6:30 - 8:00pm.
Where: Sylvia Thomas Center
716 S. Oakwood Avenue
Brandon, FL 33511

Presenting on the evening's topic, "The Real Me: Documenting Your Child's Story in a Lifebook," will be Kevin Slack, STC's Training Institute Director,and Renee Walker, STC's Family Support Counselor. From Kevin: "A Lifebook is simply a history of a child's life thus far, in a easy to read format which may include photos, history, special memories, certificates, and records of favorite things and events. This will be an opportunity to learn the importance of this tool for your adopted child(ren)."

As November is National Adoption Month, STC will also be using this meeting to promote their upcoming Lifebook event, scheduled for Saturday, November 13, 2010 from 10am - 2pm. For more information on the event, please call STC's office at
(813) 651-3150

Please also RSVP for the November 11th meeting by calling STC's office at (813) 651-3150. Let STC know if you will be bringing children, how many, their ages and any special needs so that we may prepare for their care. Childcare is on a first come, first serve basis and space is limited. Light refreshments will be served.

Attachment and Trauma Network, Inc. Lifeline Webinar: Surviving The Holidays With Your Traumatized Child

2010-11-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

Copied from an 11/8/2010 Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc. (ATN) email update

The holidays can be stressful for healthy families. But for traumatized children and their families, the holidays present a special challenge. Family traditions and parental expectations clash with our wounded children’s fears of intimacy and anxiety over changes in schedule. Add visits from extended family who don’t “get it” and excitement over festivities and gifts and you can quickly have a recipe for disaster.

Janice Turber, attachment & trauma therapist with the Center for Attachment Resources & Enrichment, and Nancy Spoolstra, founder of ATN and experienced mom, will discuss some strategies for altering expectations and their experiences with surviving the holiday season.

When: 8:30 p.m. EST on Thursday, November 11th

Where: The ATN Online Classroom

How: Click here to register http://www.radzebra.org/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=RAD&Product_Code=2010WL2&Category_Code=ATNLifeline

How much: $10 for ATN members, $25 for non-members. (Or join ATN at http://www.radzebra.org/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=RAD&Category_Code=MBR and get a coupon for a free webinar!)

________________________________________
Need Support Now?

Call ATN's Warm Line: 240-357-7369
All calls returned within 24 hours

Join ATN's Online Support Groups at http://www.attachtrauma.org/supportgroup.htm.

Details of Hillsborough County's National Adoption Day Celebration

2010-11-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

What: A Celebration of National Adoption Day
When: Fri, November 19, 2010 9am – 1pm
Where: George E Edgecomb Courthouse, 801 E. Twiggs Street, Tampa, Florida

30 adoption finalizations will take place on the 6th floor of courthouse. Adoptive mom Lauren Dungy will be the keynote speaker. Activities include first new family portraits, face painting, refreshments, and the Heart Gallery exhibit. For more information, please contact Kathie Michael at Kathleen.Michael@HillsboroughKids.org.

Florida Presents "30 Days of Amazing Children: Explore Adoption!"

2010-11-08T08:23:00.000-08:00

Videos, photos of children dreaming of forever families featured on www.adoptflorida.org during National Adoption Month in November

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – The "30 Days of Amazing Children: Explore Adoption!" initiative presenting children in foster care who dream of being adopted by forever families was unveiled today by Florida Department of Children and Families Secretary George Sheldon and Florida’s Chief Child Advocate Jim Kallinger.

A different "Amazing Child" available for adoption in Florida is being featured every day during National Adoption Month in November on www.adoptflorida.org. Many of the featured teens, sibling groups and children with medical needs are depicted on videos as they talk about themselves and their hopes to become part of a loving family. About 850 children are available for adoption on any given day in Florida, and more than half of them are teenagers.

"Floridians are encouraged to visit www.adoptflorida.org during November and become acquainted with children available for adoption and their dreams of belonging to a family," Secretary Sheldon said. "These are Florida's children. Their futures depend on actions that all of us can take to raise adoption awareness and recruit loving adoptive families."

Speaking at the celebration that kicked off National Adoption Month in Florida at Alfred B. Maclay Gardens State Park was 17-year-old Robert, whose adoption becomes official this month. Kim Johnson and her husband decided last March to adopt Robert, who spent half of his life in foster care. Kim first encountered Robert when she searched www.adoptflorida.org looking for a teen in need of a family. The Johnsons also have two biological children, ages 3 and 4.

"I'm not in foster care any more. I'm really happy. It's more than I expected," Robert said of being adopted by the Johnson family. "All the comfort and love, it's really extraordinary. You have someone to fall back on." He gets along great with his sister Sage and brother Kaden, likes doing math and playing video games, and thinks it’s cool to have a dog named Buddy.

"We had an extraordinary first meeting. It just felt so natural." Kim Johnson said. "We are so blessed to have a son like him. What an amazing great big brother. To Robert, it has meant a vision of what he wants to do in life and the stability of knowing where home is and where he can be."

Florida is a national model on adoptions, collecting a total of more than $15 million in federal bonuses in 2009 and 2010 for increasing the adoption of children in foster care. More than 12,000 Florida children in foster care were adopted over the past three and a half years. Florida also currently is best among the states in achieving adoptions in a timely manner.

"When children in foster care are adopted by a permanent family, they feel loved, secure and positive about their future," Chief Child Advocate Kallinger said. "The many adoptive parents I have met are equally overjoyed to add these wonderful children to their families. We just need to keep spreading the adoption message."

Children in foster care who do not achieve permanency with a family before transitioning out of care at age 18 are at higher risk of being arrested, becoming teenage moms, dropping out of school and becoming homeless. Over the past three and a half years, Florida has safely reduced the number of children in foster care by nearly 11,000, or 36 percent, through adoptions, permanent guardianships and reunification with parents.

Credit for Florida's adoption successes is shared by many committed partners, including the Explore Adoption campaign, the Governor's Office of Adoption and Child Protection, DCF, Agency for Persons with Disabilities, community based care lead agencies, local adoption providers, Forever Family, Heart Galleries, One Church One Child and many others.

The Florida Department of Environmental Protection (DEP), a new partner, is giving free passes to state parks to all families finalizing adoptions of children in foster care during National Adoption Month. Several state parks also are hosting adoption celebrations.

"At DEP, we realize the importance of outdoor activities that families can enjoy together," said Bob Ballard, DEP Deputy Secretary for Land and Recreation. "We proudly manage 160 Florida state parks which are recognized as premier family-friendly destinations. Florida state parks not only offer unlimited outdoor recreation, but are educational and teeming with history."

Nearly 50 adoption celebrations and finalization ceremonies are being held throughout Florida this November. Find out about an event in your area at http://www.adoptflorida.org/adoptionmonth4.shtml.

While private forms of adoption can cost upwards of $30,000, adopting one of Florida's children in foster care costs little or nothing. The benefits include a monthly adoption subsidy for the family, health benefits for the child, and free college tuition at a Florida public university, community college or vocational school. The federal adoption tax credit recently was raised to $13,170 per child and is refundable, meaning eligible taxpayers can receive it regardless of whether or not they owe taxes for that year.

For more information, please visit www.adoptflorida.org.

Upcoming Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc. Webinar Focuses on Parental Rights Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)

2010-10-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, Oct. 28, 2010, at 8:30pm, the Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN) www.attachtrauma.org will host a webinar entitled Parental Rights Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). The presenter will be Allison B. Vrolijk, Esq. Based in Georgia, Allison is an attorney/advocate for families of children with disabilities, as well as a mother of children with special needs.

This webinar is part of the Attachment & Trauma Network's Lifeline Series, monthly 90-minute interactive online seminars that bring experts on a variety of topics, via their computers, right to the parents of traumatized children and children with attachment disorder. The only device needed to participate is a computer with an Internet connection and speakers (microphone optional).

Cost to attend the seminar is $10 for ATN members and $25 for non-members (annual membership is $35; visit www.attachtrauma.org/join.htm for membership information).

For more information on the seminar or to register, please visit http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/782507/7bb3dfb54d/1470613809/895a999abd/.

Florida's Adoption Assistance Program

2010-10-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

While researching post adoption resources in Hillsborough County today, I came across this very helpful link: www.adoptflorida.com/assistance-program.htm.

It includes information on everything from maintenance subsidies to the federal tax credit (please make sure you check into your eligibility for this if you haven't already...it could literally decrease your amount of federal tax owed by thousands of dollars) to the college tuition exemption and more. Great resource...thanks, Florida's Adoption Information Center, for making this info. so readily accessible!

Heart Gallery Roller Derby Benefit

2010-07-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

From Christy Gestiehr at The Heart Gallery:

"The Heart Gallery is looking forward to an exciting, fun-filled evening. We hope you can join us. Please forward to your friends and family who might be interested."

Contact Christy Gestiehr with any questions at CGestiehr@childrensboard.org or at 813/204-1759.

Essay About The First Time We Met Our Son

2009-10-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Special to the St. Petersburg Times
In Print: Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sunday Journal: Thinking about adoption, they meet a little boy in foster care

My husband, Steven, stepson Sam and I were already waiting at the park early that summer evening when their car pulled up. I was both nervous and excited about meeting this little boy whose picture I had carried with me for weeks. Six years old at the time, Chandler had been in foster care on and off since he was 2 ½ years old. That picture and the background information the agencies had given us were all we knew of him.

Erin, Chandler's care manager, introduced us to him. He smiled shyly as he quietly said, "Hi." He carried a lunch box with him, and so we all sat down together underneath the picnic pavilion. When we told him we liked his cartoon character lunch box, he explained that his foster mom had packed him dinner since the timing of our visit meant he would miss eating with the other foster kids.

He had also brought some action figures. As he told us about them, he grew more comfortable. From then on he barely paused for breath as he jumped from one subject to the next, beginning nearly every sentence with, "And guess what?"

His speech wasn't very clear so we spent a good amount of time asking him to repeat things that first evening. He was so sweet and innocent, and with his shaggy hair, his long, skinny legs, big brown eyes and ear-to-ear smile I decided he was just about the cutest little boy I'd ever seen. He was a happy bundle of energy and excitement. How in the world could he still be in foster care, I wondered. I couldn't understand why people weren't lined up at the door to be his parents.

Once he finished eating we went out on the playground. We had given him a Nerf football thinking he might like to play that with us, but Chandler was far more interested in being chased up and down and all around the playground equipment.

"You can't get me!" he yelled as he laughed and ran off again, fully expecting that I would continue chasing him. And I did. Up the steps we climbed and down the slide we slid over and over. I was glad I had worn sneakers and shorts — it had been a very long time since I had run around a playground.

After a while, we all walked down to a small bridge overlooking the water. I asked Chandler if he was okay with me lifting him up so he could see the picture in the window of the building at the bridge's entrance. He said yes, but only let me hold him for a brief instant before he asked me to put him back down. We watched from the bridge for a few minutes in hopes of seeing an alligator, and then it was time to go.

As we walked back to the pavilion, the care manager invited us to follow her back to Chandler's foster home so that we could meet his foster mom. During the drive, Steven, Sam and I were all a bit apprehensive; Chandler was the first child we had been matched with and we'd never been to a foster home before.

The home was a large manufactured house at the end of a long asphalt driveway on a large plot of land in rural Hillsborough County. From outside the entrance gate, we could see horses roaming underneath the tall trees in the fenced area alongside the driveway. As we got out of the car, we heard goats in the back yard, and we could see a pool. It looked like a good environment for this energetic young boy.

Chandler and his care manager walked up the steps with us following close behind. As we reached the stoop, the front door flew open and we were suddenly surrounded.

Ranging in age from toddler to a little older than Chandler, all of the children talked at once. "Are you going to be Chandler's mom and dad?" they asked over and over again. Caught off guard, Steven and I didn't know what to say so we simply replied, "Well, we're his friends." It was like looking inside an alternate universe as I realized these kids lived in such a continual state of transition that getting new moms and dads was a normal occurrence to them.

We met the foster mom, and I was immediately grateful to this lady who had kindly opened her home to so many children. Still talking all at once, the children followed as Chandler showed us the bedroom he shared with his foster brothers. He excitedly pointed out his bed and his toys, and then also showed us which beds and toys belonged to the other boys.

It was a short visit. As we prepared to leave, all of the children wanted to hug us and we obliged. We told Chandler how much we enjoyed meeting him and one of the older girls excitedly said to him, "I know they're going to be your mom and dad."

I knew we were going to be, too.

Michelle Schumacher is a marketing freelancer and foster adoption advocate who blogs about foster adoption at fosteradoptions.blogspot.com.

Recap of the 2009 Annual NACAC Conference

2009-09-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

The 2009 NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children) http://www.nacac.org/ Annual Conference took place in Columbus, OH, Aug. 12 - 16. Hundreds of attendees from all over the United States as well as Canada took part in educational symposiums, networking events, and meetings centered around advocating for post adoptive support services in their own communities.

Supported by sponsors including Jockey Being Family http://www.jockeybeingfamily.com/ (who provided scholarships to the conference for 30 first time attendees, including myself) and the Dave Thomas Foundation http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/, the conference provided the opportunity to garner practical and straightforward information from highly respected experts in the field of adoption.

One of the most integral components of the conference was the validation experienced from being among a group of people who truly understand what life as an adoptive family is really like. Solution-oriented in all respects, the conference's overall tone was both realistic and optimistic at the same time. Personal stories of the joys and rewards, as well as the just as important trials and tribulations, common among adoptive families were shared by speakers and attendees alike. Tough topics were handled proactively and directly; no topic was shyed away from, and attendees were able to reach out to speakers, agencies, and other adoptive parents for solution-oriented insight, advice, and solutions in addressing their own specific challenges.

Consisting of a very small full-time staff, NACAC is nonetheless accomplishing great things in its energetic efforts to advance the causes pertinent to adoptive families. More information about NACAC as well as the 36th Annual NACAC Conference, taking place in Hartford, Conneticut, August 4 –7, 2010 can be found at http://www.nacac.org/.

Letter to the Editor of the St. Petersburg Times

2009-07-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

The following is a Letter to the Editor I wrote that was printed in the St. Petersburg Times on Monday, July 27, 2009. It was in response to a Times Editorial, "Adoption progress, problems" which was printed on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 http://bit.ly/IxwmT.

Subject: Much Work Still to be Done

As a foster adoptive parent and advocate, please accept my gratitude for pointing out that the increase in the number of foster adoptions in Florida, while commendable, does not eliminate the work that is still to be done. Over and over research commissioned locally, at the state level, nationally, and beyond indicates the fundamental need for post adoption support services. However, both DCF and Hillsborough Kids, Inc. continue to allot a miniscule portion of their budgets to providing such services. Further, the supports that do exist are hard to access and generally for limited periods of time only, but anyone who has adopted a former foster child can tell you that the effects of the trauma these children have experienced are likely to resurface throughout their childhood, teen years, and beyond. Learning to work through or manage the often extreme behaviors they understandably exhibit as a result of their past experiences requires far more than love; it requires commitment, perseverance, and dedication on the part of the parents to become knowledgeable of the psychological, neurological, and other “whys” behind their children’s behavior, as well as students of the specific methods that are effective in parenting this population. As your editorial points out, families who adopt foster children are providing an invaluable service to the state. One has to ask why, then, does the state not in turn commit to supporting them with the resources they need in order to be successful?

Regarding ours being the only state in the country to have an outright ban on gay and lesbian adoption I say shame on us, Florida. For the sake of fulfilling our shared responsibility to provide every child with a safe, secure, supportive, and loving home, it is time to insist that political and personal biases be set aside so that all qualified residents, regardless of their sexuality, may finally be extended equal rights to adopt in the state of Florida.

New skirt! Tampa Bay Article Features Our Foster Adoption Success Story

2009-07-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Please double click on this link Michelle Schumacher Success Storyteller to view the full article.

New Social Network AdoptionVoices.com a Promising Resource for All Who Are Touched by Adoption

2009-07-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

A new online social network devoted to all aspects of adoption was recently launched. A July 10th message from the site's founders to its members read:

A message to all members of Adoption Voices

In the last few weeks since we launched AdoptionVoices.com, we've already had more than 1,500 members register. Even more important, we've had great content created along with great member interaction. For example, we now have 98 sub-groups created on adoption topics.

The groups with the most members so far are:
(1) Transracial Adoption
(2) Hoping to Adopt
(3) China Adoption
(4) Families Supporting Adoption
(5) LDSFS Adoptions
(6) International Adoption
(7) Bloggers
(8) Openness in Adoption
(9) Adoption Humor and Inspiration
(10) Adoption Advocates
(11) Foster Adoption
(12) Why Open?
(13) Open Adoption
(14) Finding and Adoption
(15) Christian Adoption

The most active groups as of today are:
(1) LDSFS Adoptions
(2) Hoping to Adopt
(3) Why Open?
(4) China Adoption
(5) Bloggers
(6) International Adoption
(7) Transracial Adoption
(8) Families Supporting Adoption
(9) Kid Free Zone
(10) Adoptive Parents for Open Records
(11) How to Avoid Being Scammed
(12) Foster Adoption
(13) California Adoptive Families
(14) Special Needs Adoption
(15) Birthparents (Who Have a Positive Story to Tell)

We encourage you to join or create a group today and share your adoption voice at http://adoptionvoices.com/groups.

Visit Adoption Voices at: http://adoptionvoices.com/

Excerpts from UK Article About Increase in Number of Adopted Children Returned to Care

2009-07-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

Research from the UK validating the need for and importance of post adoptive support services...
From http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6675966.ece

July 10, 2009
Number of adopted children returned to care has doubled in five years

The number of adopted children who have been returned to care homes because their new parents cannot cope with them has doubled in the past five years.

Data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act show that the number has increased by a third in the past year alone as parents struggle with often challenging children who have suffered years of neglect or abuse in their natural families.

Going back into care after living with an adoptive family is a traumatic experience for children, and for the adoptive parents who have to accept their only chance of having a family has gone. It is also a huge cost to an already over-stretched system with the children likely to need expensive specialist care.

The increase in breakdowns comes despite a fall in the number of children being adopted. Only 4,637 children were adopted in 2007, the lowest number since 1999.

The data on breakdowns is in a survey of local authorities, conducted by More4 News and shared with The Times. More4 News will broadcast its special report tonight at 8pm.

Experts say the figures show that many children are being left to suffer at the hands of dysfunctional natural parents for too long before being taken into care by social workers. By the time they are adopted, many have severe emotional or behavioural problems.

Local authorities are not obliged to keep any data on adoption breakdowns and the vast majority of those contacted by More4 News had no figures or only partial records. However, according to the numbers kept by 92 out of 450 local authorities in England, Scotland and Wales, 57 children were returned to care in 2008-09 compared with 26 in 2004-05. If the pattern is repeated across the country, it means more than 250 children were returned to the care system last year.
The figures are also a reflection of the changing face of adoption. Before the 1970s, most adopted children were babies born to single mothers, but today more than three quarters have been removed from their homes because of abuse or neglect. The increase in alcohol and drug abuse among parents is also a growing factor in care proceedings, with parents often being given several chances to break their habit before children are removed.

According to data provided to More4 News by the local authorities, last year only four per cent of adopted children were babies, with the majority aged between one and four. A quarter were aged between five and nine.

Adoption UK, the charity which supports adoptive families, said not enough was being done to help parents to care for a challenging child.

Jonathan Pearce, of Adoption UK, said: “The figures starkly illustrate the difficulties and complexity of modern-day adoptions from care and also highlight the lack of support for adoptive families in their challenging task of being therapeutic parents for traumatised children.”
The charity says the system is still too preoccupied with the intense and lengthy approvals process for would-be adoptive parents, rather than preparing them in advance and helping them afterwards.

Case study ‘I had naively believed in love’

Initially, the adoption seemed to be going well. But Kate discovered that Alex, whom she had adopted when the child was four, had an attachment disorder and heard voices.
“She never left my side, ever,” Kate says. “She couldn’t watch television, she couldn’t play, she didn’t want to play with other children. There was nothing that she could do by herself.”

Alex’s behaviour deteriorated rapidly and she began to torture the family cat. She tried to kill her rabbit. Social services had warned Kate that her daughter’s background was “as bad as it gets”. Alex’s natural mother was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

“I naively believed that with enough love and enough attention and security we could make it all better for her,” Kate says. “But it became a nightmare caring for a child who isn’t attached to you.”

(All names have been changed))

How Social Media Will Help Our Cause

2009-07-10T07:00:00.001-07:00

Last night, I attended Social School http://juliagorzka.com/socialschool/, a seminar focused on bringing attendees up to speed on why social media is an essential marketing tool. Prior to attending, I had a Twitter account, Facebook, etc., but wasn't sure how to use them to promote this blog.

As discusssed in some of my previous postings, this blog focuses on 3 goals:

1) Be a voice of encouragement for those who have adopted through the foster care system during their toughest moments by telling the stories of other families who have gone before them.

2) Encourage others to foster and/or adopt.

3) Advocate for increased availability of post adoption support services.

After attending Social School, I now know how to search for others who are passionate about sharing helpful info. with other foster adoptive parents (see links to resources). I also have a whole bunch of ideas on how to recruit new families (and the latest proposed legislation to lift Florida's ban on gay adoption plays a key role). Last but not least, I've also got ideas to share with HKI, Inc., the org that oversees fostering and foster adoptions in our county, on a whole new (and low cost) way to provide post adoption supports for our families (think "DIY).

Very exciting times, indeed. Stay tuned!!

Stay tuned!!

"What Would I Do Instead?"

2009-06-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

Donna—Gram to her foster and adopted children—doesn’t remember for sure how she became interested in being a foster parent. She does remember clearly, however, how she decided to become the adoptive mother of two of the foster children in her care.

Donna and her husband, Thomas, first fostered in the early 1970’s while living in New Hampshire. Back then, Donna was a stay-at-home mom to their biological daughter, Dawn, and son, Steven, which she says made it convenient for them to take in other young children. That first stint in foster parenting ended when they relocated to another county.

The couple didn’t foster again until thirty years later, in 2004, after both had retired. Having settled in eastern Hillsborough County on an eight acre parcel of land shared with Dawn and her husband, Kenny, Donna and Thomas were inspired to resume fostering by their daughter and son-in-law, who had begun foster parenting several years earlier.

After completing their state-required Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting (MAPP) training through Camelot Community Care, Inc., the couple became licensed in January of 2005. Within days, they began taking foster children into their home. Donna and Thomas were respectively called Gram and Grampy by their grandchildren next door, and their foster children followed suit in calling them by those names, as well.

In May of 2005 then 7-year-old Carly and 5-year-old Joseph, a sister and brother sibling group, came to live with the couple. Donna recalls Joseph saying, “I don’t see no roaches here,” giving her indication early on of the conditions the children were used to living in. After being with the couple only one week, the siblings announced they wanted to stay there for good. Until that time, Donna and Thomas hadn’t considered adopting, but the children’s determination caused them to openly begin discussing the possibility.

Within a few short months of becoming licensed, the couple had eight foster children—the maximum number they were licensed for—living with them, including Carly and Joseph. Unfortunately, in late 2005 Thomas was diagnosed with cancer. In addition to a houseful of children, their daily lives now also included the regular arrivals and departures of hospice workers. Perhaps because the children’s time in foster care had gotten them used to people coming and going in their lives, there were fairly unaware of the seriousness of the situation. Carly was the only one to have any real idea of how sick Thomas was. After a long and painful battle, he succumbed to the disease, quietly passing on March 1, 2006.

Donna says that having the children in their lives is what got her through that tough time. “Things had to be done,” she says. “I had to act like everything was okay.” Even after her husband passed, she never considered giving up foster parenting. Instead, she kept busy by continuing to take care of the children as a single parent.

“What would I do instead?” she asks.

For some time, Donna continued to be at capacity with eight foster children rotating through her home. Soft in tone and willowy in stature, one nonetheless gets the impression that Donna does not tolerate much in the way of poor behavior. Discipline includes time outs, the children being sent to their room, and having privileges revoked. With foster children regularly arriving and leaving, Donna incorporates convenience wherever she can, such as using paper plates for dinner, and the children help keep the house tidy by handling such chores as doing their own laundry and cleaning their bathroom.

Most of Donna’s foster children have accepted the structure and rules of the household while they lived with her. Some, however, had been so severely impacted by their previous experiences that they proved to be a physical threat to themselves or the other children. In those instances, the children were removed from her care by Donna’s request.

As other children came and went, Carly and Joseph continued to live with Donna. The two adjusted well to their new home overall, but Joseph was prone to violence for some time. Donna notes that when he would get off the bus after school he would be uncontrollable and filled with an angry energy that led him to pick fights with the other children. She sought to understand where the behavior was coming from, and why it occurred in the afternoons but not in the mornings.

Over time, Donna learned that the dosage of a medication Joseph had been prescribed by a psychiatrist was woefully insufficient. While she continued to point out the issues to Joseph’s caseworkers, it was only through her own persistence that the dosage was eventually properly adjusted, following which Joseph’s instances of violence decreased dramatically.

While they were still foster children of Gram’s, Carly and Joseph did not have contact with either biological parent but they did initially stay in touch with three half siblings, all on their mother’s side, who were also living in Florida. As the years went on, communication from their half siblings slowly decreased. Their half-brother was eventually adopted and has not been in contact with his younger siblings since. Their half-sisters, who live with their biological father, at one point initiated scheduling a visit with Carly and Joseph. Donna recalls Carly spending most of the appointed day standing in the driveway excitedly awaiting her sisters’ arrival. Sadly, they never came and, now living in another state, they have not been in touch since.

The court’s official termination of Carly and Joseph’s biological parents’ rights took place in the fall of 2007, which meant that the children also became eligible for adoption at that time. Because National Adoption Day is in November, the caseworkers asked Donna to postpone finalizing the children’s’ adoption so that they could participate in that day’s ceremonies. On November 16, 2007, Donna finally and forever became the mother of Carly and Joseph. During the process the children chose new names for themselves, both of which honor Donna’s husband, the man who would have become their father but for his passing.

Since coming to live with Donna, Carly and Joseph have known a life of structure and routine. After school and on weekends, they spend most of their free time outside with the other children playing with the family’s horses and goats, or riding their bikes and scooters. Birthdays are large celebrations that include Donna’s daughter, son-in-law (now Carly and Joseph’s sister and brother-in-law), and their children. Gram makes a cake, and there are pizza and party favors. Typically, just family members participate.

When she celebrated her most recent birthday this past October, for the first time Carly invited a friend over to celebrate with them.

No doubt, it was only the first of many such times to come.

Adoption Community Call to Action for Orphan Film‏

2009-06-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

Copied from an Adoptive Families magazine email...

Dear Readers,

There is a horror film being released on July 24, called Orphan, about a family who adopts an older girl who "is not what she appears to be." The film is currently being promoted, and the trailer is available at http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com . The adoption message is extremely negative, and plays into the stereotypes of adopted children, particularly older children, as damaged.

Though we have not been able to preview the entire movie, the trailer leads us to believe the movie will send a horrific message about adoption. The adoption community is protesting the release of the film. We urge you to contact the makers of the film, as well as your local movie theater chains, with your concerns. Feel free to copy or adapt the sample letter below.

To whom it may concern:
I want to express my outrage about the release of the movie Orphan. The film plays into the stereotype of adopted children as damaged and dangerous. It discourages families from pursuing adoption, particularly adoption of older children, who are especially in need of loving homes. As an adoptive parent, I am horrified by the line in the trailer that "it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." Adoption has often been misrepresented in the media, but the previews for this film are unbelievably offensive. I urge you to change the promotional materials, and to consider holding the release of the film altogether.

Contact information:

Warner Bros.
4000 Warner Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91522
818-954-6000

Silver Pictures
4000 Warner Blvd. 90
Burbank, CA 91522-0001
818-954-4490

Time Warner Inc.
One Time Warner Center
New York, NY 10019-8016
212-484-8000

Thank you for your support.The editors of Adoptive Families

Press Release Sent to Local Media on Friday, 6/5/09

2009-06-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

June 5, 2009

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT:
Michelle Schumacher
Plan B Events and Promotions, LLC

813-363-3970
Michelle@PlanBEventsandPromotions.com

LOCAL WRITER LAUNCHES BLOG PROFILING FOSTER ADOPTION FAMILY SUCCESS STORIES IN HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY

www.fosteradoptions.blogspot.com focuses on the good news about foster adoption.

TAMPA, FL—Freelance marketer and adoptive mom Michelle Schumacher wants to expand awareness of the positive foster adoption stories in our community.

Schumacher and her husband adopted their 9-year-old son out of foster care two and a half years ago, and today she considers her family to be a foster adoption success story.

Early on, however, she remembers feeling overwhelmed and incompetent. “Looking back, we had no idea what we were getting into. We had a lot of learning to do about the unique issues former foster children are prone to, as well as how to effectively manage those issues.”

During the rough moments, Schumacher would seek out the stories of other foster adoptive families who had learned to productively manage their children’s special needs. “The stories of others who had been down this road before us and turned out okay encouraged me to believe that as long as we kept trying, we would be successful, too,” she says.

Persistence eventually led Schumacher and her husband to locate the resources that have helped them learn how to effectively parent their son, particularly through the guidance of professionals specifically trained in working with these children. Now Schumacher wants to help others find the same success.

Recalling how helpful the stories of other foster adoptive families had been for her, she set out to make those stories more widely known. www.fosteradoptions.blogspot.com, featuring its first foster adoption success story family profile, was launched this week.

Focusing primarily on Hillsborough County, the blog will be updated regularly with additional family profiles. Hopeful that expanding awareness of successful foster adoptions in our area will likewise increase local interest, the blog also includes links to sites featuring information about how to adopt foster children.

Knowing first-hand the importance of post adoption support services, links to local support resources will also be included. “Increasing the number of foster adoptions in Florida is one of Governor Crist’s primary initiatives, and I applaud him for this effort. That said, in order for those families to also become success stories there absolutely needs to be a simultaneous increase in the support services available to those who do adopt.”

“Success will be much harder to come by if not,” says Schumacher.

###

"I've Been Mommy Ever Since"

2009-06-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

Summer and her husband, Leonard, had always talked about adopting. Growing up, both had personal ties to adoption. Summer’s mother was adopted when she was two years old. When Leonard was 14 years old his aunt and uncle, who were unable to have a child, adopted his cousin as an infant. For both Summer and Leonard, their previous experiences with adoption had been positive.

The bi-racial couple already had two biological daughters. They were interested in finding a boy and, racially, they wanted a child that could fit in best with their family make up. Realizing they “didn’t want to do the baby thing again with the diapers,” they also wanted an older child.

Well aware that older children were likely to come with baggage, the two candidly discussed together (and eventually with their case worker) the situations that as a family they felt they could and couldn’t handle. “I felt kind of bad…I felt like I was going to Petsmart,” says Summer. But she and Leonard were committed to not taking in a child that wasn’t a fit for them. They wanted somebody they could relate to, and they wanted the child to feel he could relate to them.

In March of 2007 they saw the Heart Gallery, a touring exhibit featuring photos of and information about children waiting to be adopted, on display at Citrus Park Mall. They took information cards on a couple of the children profiled. The following week Summer contacted Camelot Community Care, an agency in Hillsborough County that facilitates foster adoptions.

Through Camelot, in July of 2007 the couple began MAPP (Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting), Florida’s required training program for all potential foster and foster adoptive families. Until they began the classes, they didn’t realize how many children in our area were in the foster care system, or how many were available for adoption. Summer remembers her shock at realizing that kids her daughter goes to school with could be in this situation.

That fall, the couple went through the next step in the process of adoption, which was a home study to determine if they would be eligible to adopt a child out of state care. As it turned out, at that same time a little African American boy who would eventually come to be known to them as Isaiah was living in a foster home the couple’s case manager also oversaw. S ummer and Leonard had actually seen Isaiah’s picture on the Heart Gallery. At that time he was listed as having been placed since his foster parents intended to adopt him, so the couple didn’t take his information card. But he had definitely caught their eye.

In October, Isaiah’s adoption by his foster family fell through, and he was moved into another of Summer and Leonard’s caseworker’s foster homes. In December, he was once again scheduled for “match,” the formal process by which those seeking to adopt are considered as possible families for children eligible for adoption. Knowing he fit the profile of the child Summer and Leonard were looking for, their case worker contacted the couple to see if they would like to be presented as a possible match for Isaiah.

From later conversations with their caseworker Summer and Leonard learned the match committee was firm in its position that Isaiah should have a strong African American father figure. His guardian ad litem also felt he needed to have a religious family, as church was something he had become accustomed to in his time with his foster family. Summer recalls their case worker calling to say, “They want to know if you attend a church and, if so, which one?” Summer answered, yes, and provided the requested information. They were deemed an appropriate match, and the process by which they would be introduced to Isaiah, and he to them, began.

Summer and Leonard’s family first met Isaiah on January 20, 2008. He had just turned 6 years old. Subsequent visits went well and Summer soon felt comfortable mentioning to Isaiah that it was okay if he called her mom, but it was okay if he called her Summer, too. Shortly after that, he started calling her mommy. “And I’ve been mommy ever since,” she says.

Five weeks after their first meeting, Isaiah moved in with his new mom, dad, and sisters.

Prior to the adoption hearing, Isaiah asked if he could change his name. He asked Summer what names she liked. When she told them that had their youngest daughter been a boy, her name would have been Isaiah, he said “I want that name,” and they began to practice calling him by it. Shortly thereafter, his teacher sent a note home that said, “I don’t know what’s going on but he’s telling the kids that his name is Isaiah.” Summer remembers laughing as she phoned the teacher to explain that Isaiah wasn’t crazy, and he wasn’t speaking of an imaginary friend, but that the name change was part of his impending adoption. Summer and Leonard finalized their adoption of Isaiah on May 30, 2008.

Looking back, Summer reflects that “Isaiah has been able to fit into my family as if he’d always been there,” and that he has always felt at home with them. During the year and a half he has been with them, he has not exhibited any significant delays, and he has not been diagnosed with any disorders typical to the foster adoptive population. At the start of first grade last fall he received N’s for “Needs Improvement” in every area on his report card but at a recent conference with the teacher Summer was told that he is on track in everything. Of his earlier academic performance she believes he was simply a victim of circumstance and his time in the system.

Summer says their daughters have adjusted to having a brother, “really well.” Throughout the entire process, the couple kept their oldest daughter informed about what they were doing. As Isaiah was closer in age to her than her younger sister, the couple explained that their new brother would be more of her equal. They included her in events and explained the process to her as they went through it. Their daughter was so excited that she even kept her class posted, letting them know step by step everything that was going on as her family went through the process of getting to know and then adopting her brother.

At the mention of their family sounding “too perfect,” Summer laughs and says, “It’s not been perfect. There have been issues.” She says she and Leonard have handled each situation as they’ve come. When asked if she would recommend adoption to other families Summer says yes, but that she would tell them to make sure and get all the facts. “Ask questions. Make sure you’re educated. Make sure you’re family is a strong, united family,” she says.

Since Isaiah came into their lives, Summer has become "Information Central" for her co-workers who are considering adopting, noting they often approach her to ask how it works. When she tells people about the process they are often surprised. “It’s that easy?” they ask. Summer says she thinks the process worked great, noting it wasn’t always the way she wanted it to be, but it was worth it.

Summer believes her family has been blessed. While they knew things weren’t going to be “hunky dory,” they also knew they could handle whatever came along. She has told her husband “It’s sad, what Isaiah went through,” but that she believes “he was meant for us.”

Summer, Leonard, and their three children recently celebrated the one year anniversary of the day Isaiah was adopted. Summer notes the day is of particular importance to her because, “That’s the day I sat in the court room and they told me this is my son,” she says. “I love him. He is my kid.”

While the couple has talked about possibly adopting again someday, right now they want to focus on taking the best care possible of the three children they do have. “We saved one kid’s life,” Summer says.

She adds that she knows they can’t save everyone. “But we did something.”

Upcoming Hillsborough Kids, Inc. Resource Fair

2009-06-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

1pm - 4pm

Booth style Expo complete with community resources and HKI internal resources. Wander through the room collecting information from each resource present. Handouts will be available for you and representatives will be available to answer questions about their program.

Learn about the many services and supports available to the children and families we serve.

√ Hear from representatives
of various agencies

√ Find out about eligibility

√ Sharpen your referral skills

√ Ask questions of the experts

√ Collect program materials

Join us at:
DCF Conference Room
9393 N. Florida AvenueTampa, FL. 33612

Our Family is a Hillsborough Co., FL Adoption Success Story

2009-05-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

Two and a half years ago my husband and I adopted our son out of foster care. Today, I can thankfully say that while this has without a doubt been the most challenging experience of my life, it has also been the most worthwhile. Our son's presence in our family has caused us each to grow, to become stronger, and to become better, both individually and as a family. We are as blessed that he came into our lives, if not more so, as our son is that we came into his.

Looking back, as eager as we may have been to give a home to a child who might not otherwise have a family, we had very little understanding of what to expect. Florida’s mandated MAPP training program for foster and adoptive families does what it can to educate and prepare prospective parents. However, former foster children have a myriad of issues unique to this population. It has been my observation that until your child is actually living with you it is impossible to grasp the enormity of the extreme behaviors, events, and emotions likely to be encountered. As with many other adoptive families, we had no idea how to handle these issues when they arose. Moreover, we had no clear direction on where to turn for assistance.

We are resourceful people, though, and during our toughest moments I would seek out the insight and advice of other families who had travelled this road before us. Their shared experiences provided the reassurance that as long as we persevered, we too would find our way. And so we have continued to work at figuring out life as a foster adoptive family, to keep learning, to keep looking for solutions and, when problems arise, to persist in finding the support resources to help our son and our family.

Through this blog, my intention is to offer an honest look at the challenges involved in raising former foster children while also focusing on how the families profiled have successfully overcome and/or learned to productively manage their children’s special needs. Links to resources for those who have adopted or are considering adopting foster children will also be included. Questions, comments, and suggestions are welcome, so please feel free to comment and/or contact me.

Life with an adopted former foster child is filled with more ups and downs than a roller coaster. Luckily, borrowing a line from Mary Steenburgen's character in the movie Parenthood, I like the roller coaster. As you will see from the stories to follow, many others do, too!